How to Be Positive Most of the Time?

There are thousands, if not millions, of resources out there that try to answer this question. And for those who know me well (or even met me for a few minutes) can attest to the fact that I’m obsessed with positivity and its power to make this world a better place. That obsession led me to read countless books, watch many videos, and attend tens of seminars that touch on this beautiful subject.

I, like anyone interested in the topic, never ceased to know the one answer that explains how positivity is the leading and prominent cause of all the successes that we see in the world. I always believe that it is never what it is but always how we see it; the movie Pursuit of Happyness is just a great real story that takes it from the theoretical realm to the practical one. And it’s always worth saying that our lives are a physical manifestation of our thoughts; so if our thoughts are positive, our lives have no choice but to be positive and vice versa.

Since we’re all limited by our humanness with the limits and emotionality it bestows upon us; we can only ask ourselves how can we be positive most of the time. I stumbled upon an amazing book for Barbara Fredrickson named Positivity that suggests a research-proven and evidence-based technique that completely makes sense and easy to apply in our lives. The book introduces what Barbara calls a positivity ratio that calculates your positive emotions compared to your negative ones.

I came across a beautiful abstract of the book on Blinkist which summarizes that whole book in the following quote,

psychologists drew the conclusion that for a healthy mental state and a balanced life, you need to obtain a positivity ratio of 3:1 – three doses of positive emotions for every dose of negative ones. If you achieve this mix, instead of a downward spiral, you’ll experience an upward spiral that’ll lead to more and more happiness.

Honestly, what does your positivity ratio look like?


  1. Thank you so much for sharing. This is perfect timing because I just received very sad news and reading this lifted my spirits up.
    My positive ratio is more of a 1:1 and it used to be a 100:0 because I was too fearful of feeling my negative emotions so I am still in the process of making up to 3:1 in a healthy balanced way.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so glad that are witnessing progress, Noreen. I can’t wait to hear the news of you reaching the 3:1 ratio. The book covers some simple ways to get there and I’ll try to summarize them as much as possible here: 1) do more of the things that you love and make you happy. 2) surround yourself with positive people. 3) get rid of bad habits that might give you instant gratification but leave you feeling sad by the end. 4) eliminate negative people from your life. Good luck, Noreen! Please let me know how your journey to happiness unfolds.


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