Why Do We Ever Fall Out of Love?

Walking barefoot on white Maldivian sand making me and Laila feel we’re moving from one cloud to another until we reached our destination and gently descended to the ground to have our second surreal dinner with the ocean (we have to admit, the ocean was a fabulous and gorgeous date, to say the least). As we were enjoying the taste of the reef, we couldn’t help but talk about love. When does love fade away? And when it does, why would it leave us behind in the first place?

If we ever get the chance to meet Love in person, it’d be looking down burdened by its sadness and sorrow. It’s been strangled, punched blue, and broken by many or feared by others. It’d be down on its knees clasping its hands begging us for an intervention to save what’s left and make it glow again as it should. It tells us, sincerely, “it’s not fully your fault; media usually portray this perfect image trying to tell you that I’m all red roses, romantic dinners, and a never-ending honeymoon. And as soon as you enter into a fight, I fail to withstand it and here I’m again witnessing a breakup (using your good old “he/she was not the one anyway” excuse).” It then concludes with desperation, “wasn’t she/he really the one?” But how are we supposed to know?

Let’s take a quick flashback to the day we fell in love with our partner and try to remember the moment we decided to willingly yet helplessly forgo the power over our heart for them to be its new rulers. Now do we remember the circumstances, surroundings, noises and aromas of that moment? Maybe not; but we surely remember that everything, back then, pushed our heart to fall in the arms of that person and surrender to their will. This is the only time we ever consciously choose to fall and not rise. Love is a choice for it will knock on the door of our hearts; we either allow it in or see it go away.

Since love is a choice, it mustn’t be a simple one otherwise we wouldn’t witness almost three in four love stories go down the drain, worldwide. Vows, rings, memories and cheesy selfies all evaporate and fly with the wind as though they never existed. Why do we stop loving someone? Because we think that love is a one-time choice; because when we choose to fall in love, we’re making a decision that will be tested every single day for love is a constant day in and day out type of choice.

Every day is different; the day in which we fall in love will not be the same as the day we’re living today, the circumstances aren’t the same for they may not be naturally pushing our heart to fall in the arms of our partner (be it a fight or any other stupid annoyance). But we have to exert enough effort to find reasons that’ll push us to choose falling into their arms once more; and usually all that we need is just one simple reason for us to make that choice. When we choose to love them, we’ll have to make that choice each and every day.

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